


Do You Remember?

by talonyth



Category: Karneval
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-04
Updated: 2012-11-04
Packaged: 2018-01-04 15:27:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1082655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talonyth/pseuds/talonyth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gareki is being reminiscent, telling Yogi about what he has achieved until now while the blond silently listens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do You Remember?

"Hey, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?"

It has. Tell me how you are.

"I’ve been doing fine lately. Things are going well."

I’m glad. Tell me more. 

"I’ve started working for Circus now. You should know that by now."

I do. I’ve seen it. I’m proud of you, you managed!

"It’s really difficult and it takes a lot of effort but I’ll be fine, I know that. I’ve been working hard for this."

I know. I cheered you on, every day and every night.

"I don’t like to admit this, but I think it helped that everyone was rooting for me. It gave me the power to believe. …This sounds really like something you would usually say, ha."

That’s true. You know me so well. How are you feeling?

"I am… a bit shaken but that will pass, right? It will have to."

Don’t push yourself. You’ll overdo it.

"Are you worrying? You shouldn’t. I’ll be okay."

I’m always worrying. Please take care of yourself.

"The others keep me from doing stupid things. You know, from time to time, I just… I guess doing stupid things used to be my habit and it’s hard to shake it off."

You will, sooner or later. And you will become respectable. You already are.

"It’s been really lonely without you."

I expected you to say it was much better without me. Although I’d know it was just a joke.

"….I miss you. Please come back."

Don’t cry. Please don’t cry. Don’t be sad. I can’t come back. You know that. But don’t cry.

"…But you can’t, right? I know, I know. I know… but I don’t want to know it. You said you’d be there. You promised."

Yes, and I couldn’t keep it. I’m sorry.

"But it’s not the same if you aren’t here! It’s… not the same."

I know. But you have the others. They will be there for you.

"No matter how much everyone tries to tell me or cheer me up, it’s… not really…"

Don’t cry. Don’t. I never wanted to make you sad. I want you to smile. Always.

"And they all always tell me you wouldn’t want us to be sad and I know that! It sounds like something you idiot would say! But… how can’t I be… if you’re not here…"

But I am. You just… don’t know. I guess it would be a bit much to expect you to know everything, although you do. You know a lot of things. I admire that so much.

"It’s really no good… I can’t bring myself to work the hardest or to make the most when you’re not there. I’ll screw up because of you."

You won’t. You’re not like that. You don’t screw up, things will be fine, you said so yourself. Don’t worry, I’m still around to cheer you up. I will always be, now more than ever. 

"I never got to tell you that I really liked you. You were really annoying sometimes but… I miss that now. The loud and the happy, the idiotic and the pushy. I miss it so badly…"

I know. Even though sometimes I was sure you hated me but… somehow I noticed that it was the oppsite. I felt the same, you know that.

"…that it drives me crazy that I didn’t tell you all this while you were still here…"

But you told me now. That should be enough. It is, for me.

"I never thought I’d be like this, ever. You’ve made me far too soft."

It suits you. It fits. This is who you are, I didn’t turn you into this. You just tried to push this away. I like this about you, too.

"I hope you have it fine where you are. I hope you feel okay."

I do. Because I’m watching you. That’s enough for me. It makes me the happiest to see you.

"I bet it’s filled with sweets and sparkling things, haha."

It isn’t. It’s much better. It’s filled with you.

"Well… I’ll get going then. The others are probably already wondering where I am. I’ll come back soon."

Do you promise? I will see it if you break it!

"I promise. Although… I shouldn’t maybe. You couldn’t keep yours either."

You know why I couldn’t.

"We never know when the next of us will leave."

I know. I won’t let you. I will manage to protect you, even now.

"After all, it came sudden for you too. And then, you were just gone. You died just like that, and now you’re not here anymore although you promised. You did."

Yes, I did. But I’m right here by your side, every day and every night. It doesn’t make much of a difference. Just that you can’t see me.

"That’s why I won’t promise anything. It could happen to me too."

It won’t. I’m here now. I’ll shield you from harm. This is a promise I can give you. But you don’t hear it, right? You don’t see me, you don’t hear me. I’m here. 

"Well… I guess it won’t hurt, since I’ve already talked to myself the whole time anyway. I loved you. I really did. But when I noticed, it was too late. I’m sorry."

Don’t be. I heard you. I loved you too. I still do. I will, forever.

"Now you have it. And I feel a bit lighter. Did you hear me?"

I did.

"I wish I would know. It’s silly that I talk all by myself here."

You don’t. But it’s okay as long as I know I’m by your side. 

"Before this gets any more embarrassing, I’ll leave."

It’s okay, I’m going to come with you.

"Goodbye… Yogi."


End file.
